Why is Making Song Lyrics Gender Neutral Important?
Everyone deserves to feel represented on their wedding day. I pride myself on tailoring every set list to each newlywed, letting them choose songs they truly love. However, sometimes songs are absolute bangers but they use pronouns and other gendered language that doesn’t fit the people getting married. Why should those nearlyweds not get to have that song on their day, or have it, but it just not quite fit? As a live singer, I use custom tracks to have nearlyweds favourite songs at their day, so why not change the lyrics to fit them too?
Why is it so important?
People may think changing lyrics is unnecessary. That nearlyweds should either settle for the original lyrics or not have the song, but why? When the song is for a ceremony, you want the lyrics to resonate with you. Why shouldn’t newlyweds be able to tweak their favourite tunes so they think of their own partner. It’s your wedding day, why not personalise the songs to you!? Especially when it’s so easy. As a queer person, and someone who really values the meaning of lyrics, I know I will want the lyrics to represent me if I get married.
There are 3 key reasons it is not only important, but makes sense, to tailor song lyrics and make them gender neutral!
Not every couple has a man or a woman, so gendered terms like ‘husband’, ‘wife’, ‘man’ or ‘woman’ might not fit the people getting married.
For non-binary folk, the wrong pronouns in songs can be uncomfortable. It might not feel right hearing the lyrics mention ‘he’ or ‘she’. It
Even for cisgender, heterosexual couples why not gender neutralise the songs? Because a song like ‘Man I Need’ is an absolute vibe but using the word ‘man’ closes it off to one side of the relationship singing about the other. Whereas if you neutralise the lyrics, it means that you and every single one of your guests can identify with and feel represented by the song, which I think makes it even more special.
Queer nearlyweds should be able to use their favourite song and be able to identify with it. It is more affirming for nearlyweds if the gendered language is changed to fit them, allowing them to feel represented in the music on their day.
The beauty of it is, with a live singer you can tailor it yourselves. You can choose to replace girl with one or love, husband with person or soulmate. You can even swap lyrics for other gendered terms if that is what best represents you.
In reality it is a tiny change, but it has such a big impact. I have an upcoming wedding of two brides and they have asked for the gender neutral version of “WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?” for their drinks, which means they can enjoy a banging song and identify with it too. They’ve also asked for a gender neutral version of ‘Young and Beautiful’, which means they can use it for their aisle walk, but now it represents them. A small change, but a massive impact; making the moment personal and so much more special. It is an absolute privilege to be able to create that moment for newlyweds.
That’s why it is so important. Every newlywed deserves to feel represented and identify with the music on their wedding day. I adore being able to make that happen for every newlywed I sing for.
If you want to be able to build your perfect set list, completely tailored to you, get in touch.